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The Sunshine of His Presence

May 8, 2013 — Leave a comment

My favorite way to start the day is when I wake up before 2boys and have even just 30 minutes to myself in a quiet home. Yesterday, for some reason, I awoke naturally at 4:45am and decided just to get up and enjoy some extended time to read, reflect, and write.

I was sitting at my dining table when I was side-blinded by a very bright ray of morning sunlight, streaming through my french doors to my right. It was at that very moment that my eyes read on the page in front of me:

Hannah Whitall Smith, The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life (1942)

Oh Lord, what an exquisite, tangible vision of the sunshine You give every single day and its simple reflection of the spiritual sunshine of Your presence that I desperately need in my life! Thank You for the warmth and light of Your grace, which You pour out so lavishly in moments such as these. Help me to keep my face upturned to You, even when it feels too bright or too piercing. Do Your Divine cultivating work in me — in Your own way and by Your own means. Amen.

In spiritual, thoughts

“You are so much adult.”

May 3, 2013 — Leave a comment

This morning I was reading a chapter in The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life that talked about living in the liberty of a child. All of sudden, I heard, in the quietness of my spirit, “My dear Jocey, you are so much adult.” And I thought, “He’s right. {He often calls me ‘dear Jocey’ so that I can recognize His Voice from so many others.} I am so responsible, so self-sufficient, so put-together, so…adult.”

And so I prayed,

“Oh Lord, make in my heart the very heart of a child. Help me to trust You – that Your resources are enough (I don’t need to bring my wallet or time management skills when I’m with You), that Your plans for my life are good and are being realized according to Your Sovereign might (I don’t have to worry or seek or strive or freak out when things go differently than I’d expected), and that You love me (not what I do or how I act or how much I have figured out about life) and that that is all that really matters. Like a child. Like my own kids trust me. Amen.”

In spiritual, thoughts

When What is Shocking Changes

April 30, 2013 — Leave a comment

I’ve been thinking about this all week. Just about how what is shocking has changed in just the last 100 years in America. I’ll let you in if you promise not to judge me; I’m not judging any of these things — just observing. I promise. Here are just a few things that floated to my mind: that lots of woman might desire to and be able legally to end a pregnancy prematurely; that a size 12 woman might consider herself to be undesirably fat; that most couples would desire to have only two children; the definition of a person’s “needs;” that people would pay to lie in a glass bed with lights shining on them to make their skin turn darker; the rise and success of fast food restaurants; that a person could contact a person on the opposite side of the planet in a mere moment…

What floats first to your mind??

In book, culture, thoughts

Finding Our Core Identities

April 26, 2013 — Leave a comment

This past weekend, I had the honor and privilege to speak at a retreat to a group of college student women about “identity.” I.had.so.much.fun. It was work, especially getting ready to speak, but you know how avocational work (work that is outside the bounds of your day job) sometimes doesn’t even feel like work? Well, that was what this was like for me. Want to give me more avocational work like this? Click here.

I told the women on retreat that I’d recap some of my talk here on my blog. So here goes.

Our banner premise for the day went something like this:

God made each of us uniquely to know & love Him and to reach the world with His love as only we uniquely can. Therefore, with regard to our identity, God longs for us to partner with Him in the lifelong process of discovering and becoming all that He created us to be. (It is not something we can force on our own strength and insight, nor is it usually something He is willing to do entirely on His own – He’s like a good parent in that way.) This process involves God’s doing two mighty works in us: 1. rooting out the broken identities we’ve taken on 2. healing our broken identities and restoring or replacing them with true and good identities

Some of the gals who were at the retreat

The first question we tackled was:

What is identity?

We agreed that on the surface we think of our core identities as being personal answers to questions like:

• Who are you?

• What is your life about?

• What is important to you?

But I suggested that our core identities are even deeper than that! And so I invited them to go deeper with me. I have had the most success finding my truest core identities (both broken and healed) when I’ve asked myself questions like:

• What, if I lost it, would send me into an emotional, psychological, spiritual tailspin?

• What do I sometimes obsess about? What keeps me up at night?

• What issues often foil my relationships?

• On what (besides basic needs — water, food, housing, Target basic tees) do I spend the majority of my money?

• What things make me angriest fastest?

• What things did/does my family say about me that have stuck with me through the years?

• What are my greatest strengths? How have those led to my most broken core identities?

These questions formed the basis for our partnership with God on which the rest of my talks built. Again, for those of you who were at the retreat: thank you for being so humble, gracious, and willing to listen to me share just a little bit of what God has been and is still doing deep down in my heart. I continue to pray for us – that we will partner with Him as He does His mighty work!

In spiritual, thoughts

“Traditional” Family Roles by Choice, Not Ignorance

February 21, 2013 — 3 Comments

A little birdie once told me that behind my back someone called me and my husband, with much disdain, “extremely traditional,” particularly regarding our roles at home (my husband works full-time while I stay home full-time with 2boys). As the conversation progressed, the little birdie discovered that this person thought that we must be too stupid or backward-thinking or religious or something to even consider other [obviously better] arrangements.

I have to admit that it offended me some – I sort of like it when people think I’m smart and progressive. But, actually, it was good for me to hear the criticism. It reminded me that, deep down in our guts, these roles are very much a choice after long and forward-thinking and self-sacrificing deliberations. We’ve asked over and over again, “What is best for our whole family (spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc.)?” And our progressive open-mindedness to all of the options has led us to choose these “traditional” family roles.

When it comes down to it, I am taking on a “traditional” role in our home as a choice. It is not out of ignorance or unawareness. It is not out of blind religious obligation. I’ve thought it out and read a LOT and decided that it’s best for us, for lots of reasons. And, by the way, this choice has not been the easiest one; it has required a lot from our whole family: financial responsibility and discipline, a career “pause” for me, trusting God rather than ourselves to provide and bless and secure (things we can’t force for ourselves anyway, in all honesty), to name a few.

I’m not saying that the cut-and-dried “traditional” family roles are perfect for everyone. I’m just afraid that most people these days, in considering themselves so progressive and open-minded never even consider the “traditional” roles as an option. They get stuck in the very current cultural values (individualism, career, dual-income, personal success) which were very different a decade ago and will again be different a decade hence. And, I’m sorry, friends, but I would call that preposterously narrow-minded.

In family, priorities, thoughts

Making Time to Blog

November 29, 2011 — 5 Comments

Hi friends!

Well, Happy Thanksgiving Recovery Week.

Right now I’m just sitting at my computer, staring intermittently between the WordPress screen and off into space. Both little boys are napping (at the same time – I know: miracle!). I’m trying to ignore the fact that my house is right now a complete disaster. I’m trying to ignore the half-unpacked suitcases from the Thanksgiving holiday on the floor in the laundry room. I’m trying to ignore the myriad boxes of Christmas decorations strewn throughout the living room and kitchen, ready to be put in their rightful places. I’m trying to ignore the Christmas gift lists that beckon.

I’m trying to push everything aside: I want to write. I need to share. I’m trying to blog.

I’m trying to find just a bit of blank space in my head – somewhere between the Christmas wish lists, Christmas baking lists, Christmas grocery lists, Christmas to-do lists – out of which to conjure up some creative juice from which to post something. Anything. Something that just might be helpful to someone else, or at least interesting. All of the ideas that seem to flow so easily during the day have now vanished in the tumult.

I guess the bottomline is that I want to blog more often than I do.

I know it’s somewhat a matter of priority. I know it’s easier in some seasons of life than in others. I know we’re all different and that some things will work for some of us that would be a complete failure for others. But maybe, in the spirit of sharing, you all have tricks to consistent blogging that I don’t know. I guess I just want to hear from you.

Is anyone with me? Does anyone else have the best intentions but struggle to make it happen? What do you do to make blogging a part – a natural extension – of your life?

In thoughts

Our Family Vision Statement

October 25, 2011 — 2 Comments

We have been blessed; now we want to go & be a blessing to others.

At church lately, our pastor has been teaching out of the very first book of the Bible, Genesis. It’s some of the oldest history recorded, occurring around 4000 years ago.

One of the main characters is Abram (later his name became Abraham), and he is considered to be one of the Bible’s great heroes, though he was far from perfect. But, if one thing Abram followed God. Abram was one of the people whom God chose to represent Himself to the peoples of the world all around him who didn’t believe in God. In Genesis chapter 12, God told Abram:

“Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.

² “I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
³ I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.”

God wanted to show who He is, what kind of God He is, and how much He loves the people of the entire world. His idea was to do so by first blessing Abram, who would then turn and bless others. How cool is that!? – both for Abram and for all of the people of the world!

Some time ago, as my husband Jason & I talked and prayed about what we want our family to be about, we latched onto this same idea. Unofficially, we landed on the statement: God has blessed us; now we want to go & be a blessing to others. We also want to raise our kids to be a blessing to others. I love having a vision statement because it helps us be on the same page about decisions we make and where we’re headed as a family. Most of all, it helps us prioritize, saying “no” even to good things that might get in the way of the best things.

In thoughts

I Live in a Comfortable World

October 10, 2011 — 2 Comments

I am not a history buff. But I’ve been thinking lately about 2 things which must have characterized most civilizations until our modern times (and which still often characterize our third world): regular fear for one’s life and regular concern for one’s daily needs. Relative peace in the western world, scientific and technological advances, and modern refrigeration have all but purged our modern society from these terrible fears.

Yet sometimes I wonder if those old-fashioned fears are really all that terrible in every way. To be reminded daily of the fragility of life is not to take it for granted. To be reminded daily of God’s faithful provisions is not to become arrogantly self-dependent. I get so stuffy sometimes. I think I’d be a better person if I had even just a small dose of those fears. Just think of how uniquely (and comfortably, I might add) we experience the [American] world today. A world in which we have the freedom, affluence, and time to drink our iced caramel macchiatos in our air-conditioned Starbuckses and talk authoritatively about poverty and social injustices!

I want to be the kind of person who is grateful for and mindful of the real fragility and dependency in which I live each day. I really believe that Jesus holds my molecules together (Colossians 1:17) and that each breath I breathe is borrowed air (Psalms 24:1).

I’d never heard someone pray before a meal like my friend Stacy. It changed me. Now, instead of a mostly thoughtless “God-bless-this-food-nourish-it-to-our-bodies,” I pray something more like this:

“Lord, thank You for this food. It reminds us of how good You are. I’ve never before had to worry about where my next meal was coming from. I’ve never before feared for my life because of war, famine, or terror. Give hope and help to our sisters and brothers who are right now fearing for those exact things. Amen.”

In thoughts

For Christ’s Sake

September 5, 2011 — 1 Comment

Recently I ran across the following statement of Jesus:

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:39)

The words “my sake” stuck out to me as if I’d never read them before. When I look back on the past year, it has felt at times consumed by cleaning up messes for my kids’ sake, doing laundry for my family’s sake, and mentoring others for their personal growth’s sake. Then when I haven’t exactly gotten the appreciation or acknowledgement that has felt due to me, I’ve easily become self-pitying, angry, resentful, bitter.

Jesus words here are simple, yet profound. “Give up your life for my sake.” That is when it dawned on me: Giving up my life repeatedly for anyone else’s sake is discouragingly unfulfilling! It literally sucks the life out of me. I watch my life trickle away into the abyss of peanut butter sandwiches and another empty container of disinfectant wipes. I lose my life. And I get angry and self-centered about it. The thoughtful and kind person I thought I once was has disappeared, only to have been replaced by an uptight woman with frequent emotional breakdowns. They often don’t notice my behind-the-scenes deep cleaning efforts. They sometimes don’t see the value of clean clothes enough to care. They are still too young to comprehend the selfless inconvenience it is to me to make yet another mess just for the fun of playing with paints. They don’t know how much anguish in prayer and labor of heart it takes to counsel them.

But He notices. He knows the value. He comprehends fully. He knows. And when I embrace this reality in my mind and heart, when I give up my life for His sake, I’m happy to serve. I’m glad to give. I don’t mind when others don’t notice.

When I give up my life for His sake, I get my life back. Just like He said I would.

In relationships, thoughts

A New Job: Hello Job Flexibility, Goodbye Job Security

August 30, 2011 — 2 Comments

My husband & I are quitting our jobs next week (don’t worry, our boss already knows). I’m really excited. And I’m kind of scared. We’ve worked together for seven years and had salaries and great medical & dental benefits, retirement, pension, etc. His new job: starting his own business with no regular paychecks, no reliable income, no benefits, no retirement, no pension…at least not yet. And we have two kids. (That’s my job.)

Even though I have my nervous moments, overall I’m really really REALLY proud of him. He is one of those wonderful kinds of people who is pretty much good at everything and who loves to help people. In whatever job he’s had before, therefore, he has been quite happy just meeting others’ needs. It’s really a fine and dandy thing; I’m just telling you all of this so that you’ll understand what a big step of faith in God it is for him to start his own business, doing what he loves most and what he does best.

As we’ve been making this transition, I’ve realized that owning your own business has its perks and its liabilities. One of the best things, in my opinion: flexibility. One of the worst things: insecurity.

I’ve concluded that most jobs have just one or the other. I have a lot of friends whose husbands’ work hours are not very flexible, but most of them can count on a payday every other week. I think we’ll find that the opposite is true when owning our own business. I also know that starting your own business is rumored to have an extraordinary workload in its germination stages. Well, I’m interested to see what this new chapter will bring to our family. I suppose I just need to be thankful for what I have and trust God for what I don’t have. And if you have both flexibility and security in your job, consider yourself doubly blessed.

In thoughts

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